PDA Etiquette... or... Check Your Ego At The Door!

Scenario 1

You have prepared for a committee meeting. You have a million things on your “to do” list but you have committed this time to working on the agenda before you. The members are assembled and you begin the work at hand. Suddenly, one of the members cell phones rings and they are up and out of the room like a bullet. While the entire meeting does not “stop dead in its tracks”, your team is certainly not reaping the benefits of the missing member. Obviously, your team was not as important as the person on the phone.

Scenario 2

You have prepared for weeks for a presentation at a conference. You have prepared materials, ensured that value is a part of what you will deliver and you are ready to present to the group. During your presentation there are at least 5 people who get up to take calls on their cells, and 5 others are checking their Blackberry’s throughout the presentation. A few words might be running through your mind right now… “How Rude!”

Scenario 3

You are at lunch with your client. You are using this time to build a relationship, talk about their needs and possibly present solutions for them to consider. Their cell phone rings and they ask to be excused and they take the call - from someone (possibly anyone) more important than you.

Does any of this sound familiar? I am sure that if we were sitting here together we could spend at least an hour swapping stories similar to the ones above.

With the advent of cellphones and PDAs, people's manners for the new millennium have certainly changed. People seem to be more focused on the gadgets than on respecting others. This is the era of instant access and instant gratification. It's a ME society and it seems that the person on the phone or sending the e-mail is more important than the person right in front of you.

Well, as someone who was raised on “please” and “thank you” and “respect”, I don't know how we have allowed ourselves to become so rude. I have a hard time with this, so I decided that maybe it was time for a change. And in the spirit of change, here are a few rules that I would like to see implemented for all of the PDA and cellphone users in our lives:

Rule #1

In private situations, such as riding the subway to work, waiting for your plane, sitting at the bookstore, or waiting in a line, it is fine to use your handheld for whatever it is you use it for. However, in public situations it is rude and crude to check your e-mail on your Palm/Handspring/BlackBerry when in the presence of others. It can be very distracting and the bottom line is that the person you are with will know that they are simply not important to you.

Rule #2

Check your ego at the door! Okay. So you own a Palm/Handspring/ BlackBerry/etc device. You have the coolest cell phone and you can take pictures of everyone around you. Yes, all your toys have LOTS of cool functions and features. Yes, they are lots of fun to use. No, it's not polite to flaunt it in front of others. In the world we live in today, most people just do not care, and if they do they will ask you directly. Bragging and flaunting have never been in style.

Rule #3

The physical person (or person’s) in front of you is the most important person at that particular point in time. You don’t have to ignore your cell completely; just make sure you check for messages on your breaks and when you have some private time away from the “in person” person. Letting voice mail take the call and return the call at a more appropriate time is a much better solution and certainly sends the message that you respect the person you are with.

Rule #4

If you are going to be in a public place like a conference, client office, movie theater, restaurant, church, etc., turn the phone or PDA off, or the next best option is to set your phone to vibrate or silent mode. If you are expecting a call that is absolutely imperative, you will still be able to receive your call and then make the determination whether to answer it.

So, here is my challenge for all of you. Check our egos at the door the next time you are having dinner with a client or even more importantly - your family, turn your attention to your team members in the next committee meeting, and give respect to the speaker you spent the time and money to see by turning off your “cool technologies” until you have some private time. Challenge yourself to go back to good old fashion communication skills and respect for the people that are right in front of you!