What's the Best Way to Say It?
Have you ever had something negative to say to someone but you wanted to accomplish a positive? Take a minute to state the positive first, and then clarify.
When you say something in a negative rather than a positive manner, you force that person/reader (in the case of email) to work harder to understand your meaning. In fact, research shows that readers need an additional one-third of a second to process each negative. That slows reading/communication time and comprehension.*
Example: “I can’t present at your conference unless I can speak when I want to.” A more effective way to say this is “I can present after 2 PM on Thursday as I will not be able to get there until noon.”
Another example: “I can’t work on that project with you until you document the steps necessary in the process.” Try revising it to “As soon as you get the steps in the process documented, I’ll be happy to work on the project with you.” This manner gives encouragement and support and removes the negative aspect.
Listen to yourself. The next time you have the inclination to start out with a negative, stop and think. How can I say this in a positive manner that will encourage that person to work with me in the situation?
*Source: Your Desktop Guide to Writing Clearly And Effectively, by Barbara Clark.